The Crazy Chem Class
As I write this my grade ten students are writing their provincial exam in mathematics. I think that is what made me think of my crazy chem class.
A few years ago I returned to school to take a couple of math courses. One thing lead to another and I found myself eventually taking a whole lot of physics and chem courses as well. That first semester of math opened my eyes to the world of science that previously I had completely ignored. "Science, what the hell do you need that for!"
Anyhow, by the time I took my first chem class I already had a lot of math under me and was told I could skip it. I opted not to because I figured a good foundation was more important. Also, one of my best friends would be in the same class and we figured that would be fun. Dumb move. It was ridiculously easy and I ended up in a class that by any standards would be considered a really rowdy out of control high school class. Chaos ruled supreme. The prof was a complete idiot and she hated us every bit as much as we hated her.
One day in particular class was an absolute shambles. I couldn't take it anymore. I think I had a moment when I forgot it was not my class and without thinking stood up and took control. I was barking orders left and right. "You sit. You, not one more word. You two are no longer sitting together and you out now!" Dead silence. Amazingly enough the kid left without so much as a word. I remember sitting back down and thinking, "Whoa, I just kicked a kid out of class and it's not my class."
Stupid prof thanked me but I just glared at her and said, "Don't." Afterwards it became a standing joke and my classmates would ask, "So, who you going to kick out today?" I ended up really good friends with the guy I kicked out and later we became lab partners. We still get together a lot.
Not long after that day our prof threw a hissy fit and snapped, "I would rather eat shit than teach 060 again." That was the last class I attended. I only went to labs and tests.
Final Exam
The class was far too easy for me and I never should have wasted my money. But I did. It was also a class that you needed to have in order to get into nursing. I would not have bothered studying for the final except three girls asked if I would study with them to help them pass. I only say that to try and get the point across that I knew this information inside out.
Question number one. 3 equations 3 unknowns! What the hell? I knew no one other than myself would get that one. They didn't have the math for that. As soon as I saw that question I knew stupid prof was getting her revenge. Question number two. What? Is this even chemistry?
It got worse. I could barely answer anything. After 20 minutes some guy got up slammed his exam on the prof's desk and said, "This is bullshit," and stormed out of the exam. People were crying. I think they were probably all the kids wanting to get into nursing school. My friend and I sat beside each other and we could not stop laughing. When Fiona and I start laughing there is no stopping us. By the time I was done I had answered only 67% of the exam. The rest was completely blank not even filled with educated guesses or crap trying to look like I knew what was going on. Just empty white space. I estimated that I had probably answered about 40% correctly. The other 37%was scribbled desperation.
Of course everyone passed even the ones that hadn't passed a test all term. I would not be surprised to find out that people passed that had dropped the class after the drop date!
She scored my test a 96%. How funny is that? It would seem she had to scale the tests by at least 50%! What an insane mark for an insane class.
So, what are your crazy teacher stories?
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16 comments:
do not have any to share but i love chemistry, especially group 8 elements. i know, i'm such a geek :)
p/s i linked u, if its ok :)
At the same school you had 060 at, I had a dip shit Physics teacher. I did crappy in physics in high school because my teacher was an idiot and his teaching style did nothing for me. But since I was studying math, I thought I should give physics another chance. Well, it turned out my college teacher and high school teacher were best buddies and had similar teaching styles. Needless to say, i didn't do so hot. I never took physics again.
Boo, so you're into the nobel gases. That's pretty funny. I don't think I ever had a favorite element group. Link away and I will add you right now.
Small town teacher: They had some duds there all right. In the math department I only had good profs. I liked all my math profs which is probably how I got sucked into a math degree! Had I known I would meet up with abstract algebra and Professor Annoying I would have done physics instead. I hated that class!! By far my worst mark in university but I didn't care at least I passed the damn thing. Remember someone got a 2 on that test and we were all thinking it was a fake mark because how could you only get a 2!
I love the image of you standing up and bringing order down onto the class, and then telling the prof "don't" when she thanked you! Whoa! Remind me not to piss you off! Seriously, that is the best teacher story and I cannot top that.
Except in grad school when half of the profs in our department were sleeping with their students, and one prof would come to every class hung over and then fall asleep.
Barbara, hung over and falling asleep. Unreal sometimes what goes on at university. I think the sleeping with students has really lessened in recent years. It's the one thing that can land a prof in a whole heap of trouble.
your stories are wonderful.
I don't have one of me but my son was always very much "on top of things" in class and kept track of his percentages/mark and at the end of the term he had to correct his math teacher, who had them wrong!
Don't talk to me about Professor Annoying. When we met up in that class, it was my second attempt. He had the gall give me an F the first time. That stung becaue I could have earned that same grade doing dick all. Instead, I busted my ass (while my mom had cancer) and still got an F.
Deb, oh no, correcting your math teacher on a numerical calculation. That would be a tad embarassing for the teacher!
Small town teacher, I don't think anyone liked prof. annoying. I do remember though T with the long blond hair went on rateyourprofessors.com and felt bad when every single comment about him was negative so she wrote a nice rating even though she went on initially to write him a nasty one!
Oh, I have so many funny exam stories. None that I'd like to relive right now actually. My all-time worst exam was in first year for psych and it caused me nightmeres. I remember one I was forced to do the quadaric formula, over and over and woke up screaming.
Some Art people should just not be allowed near science or math ;p
Allison, Small town teacher and I were in a class with a prof and tests from hell that we would both prefer to forget! I think most math and science people think essay questions should be strictly forbidden! Or, is that just me?
In my exam heaven it would be only essay questions. Only!!! :)
Allison, haha! Your heaven would be my hell!
I had a physics teacher in high school who was horrendous. He got sidetracked very easily. A favorite topic was how god had saved him from cancer. I guess the surgeons and chemotherapy were just there for show.
I learned nothing in the class, and didn't learn Physics until college.
I guess the fact that High School Physics is one of the subjects I teach is someone's karmic joke.
Johnny Yen, the surgeon and chemo definitely just window dressing! I just have this image of an entire high school class groaning and thinking, "Oh great, here we go again!"
The class was split-- half, who got physics easily, were like "Yay, another story! We won't have to do anything today!" The other half, myself included, who needed this class on our college track, were struggling with it and needed to actually understand the material, were groaning.
Johnny Yen, I must admit I loved it when my high school biology teacher got off track and started talking about performing surgery on farm animals. But that was not because I knew it or got it but just because I hated it.
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